Good morning!

I got up for a walk around the golf course today. I returned to the grape vines where I’d seen the spiderlings weeks ago, and my eye picked out a little cupola of leaves. I touched one leaf and found that, yes, it was bound to its neighbors. I craned my neck, peeked underneath, and got an eyeful of spider. I worked through my willies, admiring how subtly it had engineered its hiding place and how craftily it had suspended itself beneath it. I took another, closer peek to see farther up under the cupola. Sure enough, there were some spiderlings, bigger now than weeks ago. I resolved to come back tomorrow with my camera, and that was before I saw the three bunnies — a welcome addition to any morning.

Back at home I got some good news from the scales: I’m down to within a few ounces of 214, which is what I weighed when I left for vacation. By Sunday, my eat-whatever-I-want day, I should be well below that. My feelings about this are a frothy mix of the following reactions.

1. I hate being back here. I want to be in Maine eating barbecue and drinking beer.

2. I’m happy to have had such a satisfying vacation. My little excursion from the rails is over, and now it’s easy and gratifying to be back on the straight and narrow.

3. I only gained a few pounds, and I’ve already nearly shed them. The beer and the barbecue were totally worth it! And a little fling once in a while is no big deal.

4. I can’t afford to think like numbers 1-3. It’s terrible that I allowed myself to fall off the wagon like that. I’m scared of losing control again and having it all fall apart.

So I’m trying to find a balance. I’ve been good this week, and I’m going to continue with lots of exercise and no diet violations. I’m having an eat-whatever-I-want day on Sunday but I’m also going to get massive amounts of exercise throughout the weekend. In a week or so I’ll hit that 210 line. And from there I’ll be able to see 200!


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