ER-ROR! ER-ROR!

Ferro Rocher chocolates

Ferro Rocher chocolates

You remember in that old episode of Star Trek when Captain Kirk made the killer space probe self-destruct by presenting it with a logical contradiction? I’m having one of those moments.

Here are the Ferro Rocher chocolates that I’m not eating. Now, normally that would be the point of this post. But in this case it barely makes a blip on my mental radar in the face of the tsunami of cognitive dissonance that follows it.

There are two boxes of chocolates. Ferro Rocher chocolates. On the table. JUST SITTING THERE ON THE TABLE!!! They weren’t just put there a few seconds ago. They’ve been sitting there, unopened, and there are no people crowding around! It’s… Incomprehensible. Seconds are passing, and they’re still sitting there because NO ONE IS EATING THEM!!! What the hell is the matter with you people?

Oh. I see. You don’t have the same desperate need to shove those chocolates into your mouth that I do. It’s not what’s the matter with you — it’s what’s the matter with me.

Bastards. I’m so jealous.

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