Day One Hundred Forty-Five

I had spent a lot of time psyching myself up to take it easy today so as not to turn my eat-whatever-I-want day into an eat-everything-I-can day. So when I went to Mary’s, I made sure not to buy myself anything that I wouldn’t eat within a few hours. This was vital, because I love the baked goods from Mary’s so much that I almost inevitably load up with enough to last until the next day. This leaves me with a choice: extend my eat-whatever-I-want day into the next day; eat it all before bed regardless of whether I actually have room for it; or throw it away.

So I returned to camp with one plain doughnut and a big eclair for Grace, and two cinnamon doughnuts and two pillow cookies for me. After eating two donuts and one pillow cookie, and blogging for an hour or two, I finally grabbed a little more sleep. Notice I say “little”. My heart was racing out of all proportion to the amount of anxiety in my head, which itself was nontrivial. Since I’m not at all consciously preoccupied with leaving my job yesterday, I believe that I’m having a subconscious reaction to it.

We woke up sometime around noon and I ate my last pillow cookie. I talked to Grace about how I wanted to make sure not to overdo my eating today, emphasizing behavior that’s gotten me into trouble in the past. One no-no is trying to pack in three big camp meals in addition to the ice cream in Old Forge and baked goods from Mary’s. With all the extras, two main meals would be plenty, especially since it was already after noon.

I went to the grocery store in Eagle Bay to buy food. It is worth noting that I returned with what I’d intended to buy, and not with any of the Ommegang or Saranac beer on the shelves.

Back at camp, I started a fire and cooked myself a three-egg scramble with sausage and cheese. I lustily consumed it with three toasted, buttered English muffins, milk and tea. Damn, camp breakfasts rock my world.

I loaded up my pack with plenty of camping gear that was unnecessary for today’s hike, but useful for continuing to condition my body. We had a great time bushwhacking south and a bit west to the Black Bear Mountain trail, then climbed up and over the mountain. We returned to camp just before sundown, right on schedule.

During the evening cookout I ate five hot dogs, a Margarita, two cans of Pepsi, and about four s’mores. While catching up with my blogging later at night, I finished off the pack of graham crackers and ate one more Hershey bar.

I ate a lot of food today, and toward the end I scarfed a few things just for the sake of packing them in before the day ended. It wasn’t perfect. But it was much more reasonable than any previouseat-whetever-I-want day spent at camp. Let’s look at all the things I *didn’t* do.

I didn’t buy more doughnuts and cookies at Mary’s than I would finish before the next meal.

I didn’t try to pack in three meals in addition to all the local extras.

I didn’t buy any beer.

I didn’t buy any French fries at Screamen Eagle.

I didn’t allow myself both ice cream and s’mores. Instead, I chose between them.

Today would not have been so successful if I hadn’t planned it and talked about it. I’m proud that I negotiated an eat-whatever-I-want day that was satisfying without leaving me disgusted with myself.

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